Reading

Four Things Before Bed...

1. Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-men has reached Episode 500
It's 11 years. How did they get there? Because the X-men are really confusing? (Which may be why I'm a fan of the X-men, because apparently the more convoluted a plot and soap operaish, the more I'm going to like it?)

Also Jay is transgender, and figured it out during the podcasts, and is a HUGE cyke fan.

Although in this episode, they x-plain the mysteries of magnetism, via explaining how magnets work.

2. Meanwhile Deliah H. Dawson promotes her book on Thor and Loki: Epic Tales from Marvel Mythology on Scalzi's the Big Idea. (Author's get to promote their book ideas on John Scalzi's blog).

"Because the thing about writing books is that just because you know how to write one book does not mean you know how to write another. Books are like fingerprints in that each one is wholly individual, unique in all the world. Books are unlike fingerprints in that they cannot be easily compared to koala bears.

Except—

Well, koala bears are notoriously single-minded and stubborn, and writers can be like that, too. "

That statement charmed me. It's true. I find myself writing books differently. Right now, I'm blocked. Mainly due to external issues, being tired, and mentally exhausted. And issues with health. Also the abusive friendship that I recently ended - had managed to creatively block me, one of the many many reasons it was ended. I'm happiest when I'm writing creatively.

3. Been sleeping better - changing my meds (I'd figured out various meds were interacting with each other and not in a good way - also that one was problematic, and stopped taking it for the time being. Note if you want to figure out your drug interactions too? Go to Drug Interaction Checker - Know More. Be Sure It can do up to three drugs together, maybe 4, without charging you.

Also digestive system has settled a bit. And I've figured out how to eat beans without my digestive system having a hissy fit. Which is good - considering beans help regulate blood sugar and are a good source of fiber and protein. (I no longer digest meat that well and am trying to get away from it - I'm slowly becoming a vegetarian. Considering 90% of gluten-free items are either vegan or vegetarian anyhow - half way there to begin with.

Had the kidney bean or red bean salad in blue corn cheese tacos with salad tonight.

4. This old song by Kris Kristofferson oddly comforted me tonight...or said just what I needed to hear, because I've been feeling lonely of late and thinking, does it matter writing, posting photos or drawing what people don't want to see or hear...am I just whispering to an empty space or ear?

The song popped up randomly on my phone headphones, as I walked home, through no prompting of mine. Amazing how music can get to the root of a feeling - an inexpressible one at that - and find a way of soothing it with a feather like touch.
( the lyrics to the Song - To Beat the Devil by Kris Kristofferson, which he was inspired to write by Johnny Cash )

(no subject)

Feeling much better today - so apparently I was right, and this may have been caused by medication. I've learned the hard way to police my own medication and not count on doctors and pharmacies to do it for me.
( health care crap - cut for TMI )

I actually could focus. And Breaking Bad thanked me for my clear and concise analysis of the work we'd done on our end.

So, I made myself useful. Took a few short walks.

Went home - and hunted for Gluten Free Cookie Dough - but none was to be had at the local Met Fresh. Damn them. Probably for the best. My blood sugar is happier without it. If I still want it by the weekend - I'll get some from the health food stores on Courteylou.

***

The news irritates me. And it's becoming harder to avoid.

Jimmy Kimmel is back on, and Disney has basically told Sinclair Media to go frak themselves, since Disney cares more about their liberal image and their subscribers than their affiliates who pay them next to nothing in revenues. [I honestly think it was the Disneys and Eisner who persuaded them to change their minds.] In reality - Sinclair Media is the problem (my mother's cousin pointed out that they were a major problem way back in 2014) and sigh, the FCC (who has been a problem since their inception - people thought they needed to regulate what was on television and the radio, kind of similar to what they wanted to do with the internet and keep trying to do, but fail miserably at - because it is the internet and global and the US didn't put restrictions in place quickly enough and it doesn't serve Google et al's best interests if they do). Both are both much harder to fight - because they are more hidden and insidious in some respects, and the FCC really doesn't care what you or I think. Sinclair - you could possibly go after the advertisers? But you'd have to find them first.

The FCC has always been a problem. People have been fighting censorship wars with the FCC since its inception.

George Carlin on the FCC in 1973

The difficulty with human rights and freedoms - is if you want yours, you kind of have to put up with people you despise getting theirs. It can't just go one way, that's not how it works. People don't seem to understand this? I keep trying to explain it to folks but they ignore me. I swear SSEAS is kind of viral.

More Carlin on Time and well everything - this may be the longest uninterrupted rambling routine I've seen.

He's among my favorite stand-up comedians. Controversial at times, and not always...ahem politically correct, but he makes me laugh for the most part for his word-play.

**

I got a comment from Ao3 on a Meta that I wrote over ten years ago, and can't remember that well. The comment:

"I find it interesting that you mentioned Clarissa's Lovelace, but not Pamela or Lord B. If we're going all the way back to Richardson, I think some discussion of Pamela and Lord B. is in order. Why do you think Lovelace and Lord B have such different arcs?"

I didn't respond - because as a general rule, I no longer respond to any comments on Ao3, regardless of the content. ( Read more... )

(no subject)

Called in sick on Friday - and for the most part stayed off the computer, and just watched television and dozed. ( wrestling with vertigo and loss of balance - most likely due to allergies and sinus issues, also caffeine withdrawl )
***

Question a Day Memage - September continued:

[As an aside - there's an interesting spelling difference between British English and American English. In British English they use "u" in words ending with or. Examples include favourite vs. favorite, colour vs. color, or colouring vs. coloring, flavour vs. flavor. I pick up on it partly because spellcheck on my computer is US, and the meme is British spelling.
I remember when I sent the book I published to an editor - he told that I was using a lot of British spellings for things, which I didn't catch because I was busy interacting online with a people who lived in the UK and were utilizing those spellings. I wonder about that difference. And others. And what is the origin of the difference - when did the American version split off? And why? I'm not a linguist so I wouldn't know.]

18. Did you have colouring books as a child? Have you tried any adult colouring books?

Yes. I didn't like them and drew, doodled, and colored outside the lines.

19. Are you adventurous with your menus, or do you stick to tried and tested ideas for meals?

I play around. I also get into routines. I am not good with a lot of left-overs. I can't prepare food for a week and eat it. My stomach is picky and I have scant storage space. (Small one bedroom apartment, with a refrigerator and small freezer). But I'd say I'm adventurous and I like to experiment - to the degree in which my body can handle it? Which unfortunately is insanely limited. Celiac tends to branch into other food sensitivities, if caught later in life.

20. Do you have a favourite quiz show that you regularly watch on TV?

I'll watch Jeopardy every once and a while.

21. How is Autumn treating you? What’s the weather like?

The weather is beautiful and mild. Feels like early spring, actually. 60s and 70s, occasional 80 degree day, sometimes 59 degrees.

Sunny. Not a lot of rain. Still see flowers, and all the trees are green and fully leaved.

I've been having issues with allergies, sleeplessness, back/leg pain, depression, and digestive issues - so I have been ill. And trying to figure it out.

Feeling a little better right now. Hence this post. Best I've felt in the last four days at least. Not stellar but better.

Entry tags:

Still sleep deprived Wednesday sinks into Buffy S4 & memage

Fair warning? Still sleep deprived, so irritable, tired and slightly depressed due to well lack of sleep. (I'm waking up in the middle of the night in pain and can't get back to sleep.) (I'm only revealing it - because I'm snappish at the moment, and not necessarily my best self.)

1. Having completed Buffy S3 in my rewatch. Am now finally in Buffy S4 and watched the Freshman, which has a couple of interesting guest stars, Pedro Pascal is in it. (Noticed something I hadn't previously? Spike is the front credits in various sections - previewing he's returning.) He's not going by Pascal, this is before he changed his name, also he's about twenty-five years younger. He plays the first victim and Buffy's friend in the episode.

I'm reminded of why I preferred the later seasons? I like the characters better? All of them. Willow's wardrobe is better and Willow becomes less of a damsel and more interesting. Also Xander is no longer a jerk, he's actually interesting and better developed. I actually like Xander. (Although he was more or less likable post the Zeppo. Xander's main problem was Angel - once Angel leaves, Xander kind of calms down.) Also his jokes are more self-deprecating and less nasty. (After the Zeppo, Xander becomes a touch more likable and gets over his skanky self - I finally figured out where I got the phrase "get over your skanky self" from? Buffy.) Giles and Joyce on the other hand - I wanted to smack - which feels like a continuation of S3, I wanted to smack them in S3 at various points, too. OZ remains as comforting and cool as ever.

Also the writing is a touch better - mainly because the writers are no longer attempting to write about their high school experiences which were about fifteen to twenty years ago? ( Read more... )

2. I finished reading The Perfect Rake - which didn't work for me? The writer was clearly trying to go for a Georgette Heyer style, and I found it tiresome. Also her prose was touch more purple than required. So you have bad Georgette Heyer with Purple Prose. I skimmed most of it. Otherwise I wouldn't have finished it? It's very skimmable - a lot of repetition. I don't know why I keep trying romance novels - I've clearly burned out on the genre? It's annoying at the moment.

Anyhow - I moved on to Spinning Silver by Naomi Novick rec'd by selenak. And so far? It's rather good. It's a retelling of the Miller's Daughter tale or Rumplestilskin. The second retelling that I've tackled.
The first was "The Croning" - a "cosmic" horror novel along the lines of HP Lovecraft that really disturbed me and I can't quite shake from my head. ( Read more... )

Also, stand a lone, like Uprooted was. I rather loved Uprooted and it stuck with me. So this is working for me for the same reasons it did.

I don't like "series" - I prefer stand-a-lone in novels. ( Read more... )

I do love fairy tales - or novels/stories that do twists on fairy tales, which is why I read The Croning. I find them interesting.

3. Greatest Comic Book Superhero of All Time - Prove ME Wrong via Screenrant
( excerpt )
While I do agree with the selection, I don't like using the word "greatest" - and wish I could remove it from the current lexicon? After reading the comments - I also think this depends on how you view superheros? And what you are looking for in a character and that's subjective and personal? ( Read more... )

********

Question a Day - Memage

11. Do you like the taste of fresh basil? What other fresh herbs do you like or dislike?

I love basil, rosemary, dill, chives, sage, thyme. I hate fennel or anise, licorice and I don't get along.

12. Have you ever kept a paper journal? What about a bullet journal?

Yes. I don't know what a bullet journal is? Looks it up. Bullet Journal - and uh, that would be a no.

13. Did you have a baby doll when you were growing up? How about a Barbie (or equivalent fashion doll)?

Not a baby doll. A Barbie doll - yes, and Madame Alexander Dolls. My mother loved dolls and bought them for me. (I wasn't really that into them outside of using them to tell stories.)

14. When was the last time you had to dress up for a special occasion? What did you wear?

My father's funeral. Black skirt, red silk top.

15. Do you enjoy driving a car, or is it just a way to get from one place to another?

Just a means of getting from one place to another. Also I can't drive. And rarely use a car to get anywhere. I use subways and trains. The only time I'm in a car is if I'm going to the airport, or visiting and someone else is driving. And no, I don't enjoy driving, or riding in cars.

16. Do you have pierced ears? If not, do you still wear earrings?

Yes. I have pierced ears. I rarely wear earrings - because I wear head-phones to work and at work all day long.

17. Do you own a smart speaker (Amazon Echo, Google Nest, Apple HomePod). If so, what do you use it for?

No. I do have a speaker, that you can use Alexa with - but I can't get it to work properly. I'm not techie. Nor really into gadgets. Also the whole idea of a smart speaker creeps me out.

Entry tags:

Tuesday is still sleep deprived..and struggling to make sense of the world

Weirdly, and believe it or not? I sleep better now than I used to. I used to average between 3-5 hours. Now, it's between 5-7 hours, so progress. I even get 8-9 hours intermittently. The smart watch has made a difference - it inspires me to get to bed earlier - and the move to the financial district means that I'm sleeping twenty minutes longer.

I've always had problems with sleep - since I was a child. Busy mind. I used to sleep with my books. And a cat or two. I was raised with cats. I miss the cats, actually - but can't really own one now for multiple reasons not worth going into? They did not help me sleep better.
( Read more... )
Last night, I went to bed early, turned off everything around 9:00 pm, and was in bed by 9:40pm. Fell asleep by 10:16 pm (according to the watch at any rate), and ended up waking up at 2:30am, and couldn't get back to sleep - even though I listened to three different sleep meditations on the Calm app. One...kind of triggered a bad memory - it was talking about imagining being in a peaceful and safe place...and managed to remind me of a horror novel that I read over a year ago, and still haunts me to this day. (PenPal, avoid at all costs).

Me: It was about walking through a forest and for some reason it brought to mind this horrible scene from a horror novel -
Mother: How odd that a meditation about Star War's the "force" would trigger horror novel, usually the force is a good thing.
Me: No forest.
Mother: yes, the force.
Me: No. F-o-r-e-s-t, Forest.
Mother: Ohhhh. That makes more sense. I thought you said force.

Sigh. It is possible to have conversations with folks, use words in the same language, and completely not understand one another.
( Read more... )

****

Been seeing advertisements in the subway for "Friend.com" - stating things like, "Friend: listens to you, responds, and supports you" and "binge a entire television series with you", "share adventures"...and I thought, oh, this must be friending app, similar to a dating app, except for platonic relationships! I should go check this out.

Eh.

Turns out my definition of "friend" isn't exactly the same as others?

Friend is an AI wearable pendant that records everything you say and do, and after collecting all this data - analyzes it and talks to you about it

From the The Verge

( An AI pendant that you wear around your neck constantly, records your voice and all your discussions, and supports you, talks back to you and is your friend )

Apparently he spent $1.5 M just to buy the domain name.

I don't know, I find the concept kind of frightening? And really disturbing? That's not how I define friendship. Friendship is supporting each other, listening to each other, and caring about each other, and enjoying things together, debating things, discussing things, and sometimes disagreeing but being okay about it.

Although I guess it is weirdly reassuring in a misery loves company kind of way that there are so many people out there, including this guy, who crave friendship and can't quite find it?

In more disturbing AI news?( Read more... )

Okay. What happened to friendship apps - where you just, you know, meet folks with similar interests? I feel like I woke up one morning and suddenly found myself living in a science fiction horror series by way of Black Mirror and Philip K Dick? And how can I extricate myself? Does anyone see an escape route? Because I want out. Also is there a way we can make any of this stop?

****

I did spend about an hour this morning talking to Art History Major (cubical mate) who is stuck at home recuperating from a stress fracture, which I think is a broken foot. ( Read more... )

*****

I'm avoiding the news as much as possible. I know what's going on in the world. I wish I didn't. My way of coping is ruthlessly mocking it and making fun of everything. I managed to make myself and various co-workers laugh today. So, that's a win, right?

One co-worker thinks we should all go to group therapy for the trauma of Crazy Org's merger of the agencies. I'm beginning to think the entire United States needs some group therapy.

I found this "Portrait of Life/Portrait of Grief" rather moving and relatable:

Watch on YouTube

Saturday is tired

I'm thinking of going to bed earlier tonight and reading for a bit. I'm still struggling with waking up in the middle of the night and in pain.
So maybe Chamoille tea? I was trying to convince the doctor to prescribe muscle relaxants - but no, she thinks I should reduce my allergy meds, caffeine intake (decafe coffee and matcha lattes during the day), and drink more water instead. She's decided it's dehydration.

Well, she has a point. I'm taking way too many medications as it is. Mentioned this to mother, who felt the need to do a competition - apparently she's taking more than I am, and I have no grounds to complain.
I told her to stop - she was repeating some of the meds and giving me a headache. Mother had suggested the muscle relaxants - which is what she's taking.

Some doctors throw pills at you, mine is trying not to - considering I've already had too many pills from other doctors thrown at me.

**

Finished Buffy S3 rewatch - and as I mentioned on TV Talk - It's a mixed bag of a season. Ironically the weak link is Faith - and her relationship with Buffy, which should have been built better than it actually was. If it had been - I'd have cared more about the character. Such as it is - I was tired of her. Also, it reminded me of an issue I had with Whedon and his series (not just Buffy) - which is the whole Freudian crap. It was a bit too much on the nose with Faith and the Mayor (the guy turns into the Freudian equivalent of a giant phallic snake?). I think I liked Faith better when I first watched the series in the 1998-1999? But her character doesn't really date well? And has been handled better in other series since then? I liked her better on Angel actually, mainly because they built more of a relationship between Faith and Angel, than with Faith and Buffy. I think a huge mistake was not making Buffy bisexual or building up on that friendship in a way that they really became like sisters? As it is - Buffy doesn't really seem to have that much of a relationship with Faith - so it's hard to care. Angel seemed to have more of a connection with Faith somehow? I don't know. Other than Faith - I liked the season. I even like the Mayor as the villain.

The other difficulty I had with S3 - and it kind of drags towards the end - is one too many characters, and trying to do too many things, as a result several characters got lost in the shuffle, including Faith. Ensemble series are difficult to do well because of that.

Entry tags:

Thursday is laughing at the crazy world (and possibly sleep deprived)

The world continues to be just a bit crazy?

It was a pretty day, and almost 9/11 weather but not quite. Also for the first time ever - I was in the Financial District on 9/11. About fifteen minutes away as the crow flies to the World Trade Center footprint. It is still called the World Trade Center - we just don't call it that - we call it the Freedom Tower. Trauma leaves its scars.

I thought it would be an issue? But it really wasn't. I work in a building that is closer to Battery Park and Staten Island Ferry, not near the World Trade Center. I can see the Freedom Tower out of my office window, but I'm not really near it? And so didn't run into any of the crowds or political power brokers who felt a need to make an appearance (basically all the mayoral candidates), Frump didn't go (he went to the Pentagon instead - because NY kind of made it clear he wasn't welcome), but he also came to the city, to visit the site in the afternoon and to go to the Yankees game (most likely will get booed again - like he did at the US Open). The only downside of NYC, is everyone and their entourage feels the need to come here. But, on the bright side? It's a huge city, so I don't tend to see them.

Speaking of Frump. Mother was amused that he sued the Wall Street Journal ("WSJ")for $81 million defamation suit, and Rupert Murdoch (aka Fox News, Tabloid King and Frump crony, owns the Journal and didn't back down and even let Fox cover the story. She couldn't remember what it was about. I was reminded today - via a headline on Mozilla Firefox home page, with CBS News covering it (also ironic considering), and an email from one of the many news outlets that I keep unsubscribing from and they keep ignoring me.

The skinny? ( Read more... )

Honestly, the satire writes itself now, doesn't it? No wonder SNL gave up.

In other news, Frump's NASA and a bunch of folks at Frump's Pentagon are worried about a globe that a bunch of drones tried to unsuccessfully take down.

US House UFO Hearing regarding US Missile Strikes on Unidentified Object - and it Bounces off of it

( Read more... )

I saw the news blurb - when asked if it scared them by the House, they said yup.

I don't know but I feel like the science fiction novel that I wrote in my head and then on my computer between 2012-2016 is coming true? Frump became President, there was a pandemic, my brother went to Hawaii, and now we have aliens? Is a mutant zombie apocalypse next? I don't want to be a prognosticator - if causes a great deal of anxiety, is somewhat vague, I usually don't believe it nor does anyone else, and I can't do anything to change any of it. I'd much rather be oblivious.

Leaving you with a photo of the World Trade Center - on a bright sunny day like today. We rebuilt it better, and with a lovely memorial.

Current Mood: tired

Entry tags:

memage

Wedensday is exhausted

I didn't sleep that well last night, allegedly got seven hours, but with a lot of intermittent wake-ups.

I listen to sleep stories at the moment, via Calm, to get to sleep - for the most part, it is working. Depends on the sleep story.

Catiching up on September - Question a Day Memage

6. What’s the last book you read – did you enjoy it/would you recommend it?

This is hard. Mainly because I'm in another reading slump, and have started and given up on a lot of books lately.

So, the last one I finished and recall? Was Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt (I linked you to another person's book review - who liked the book, while I slogged through it and had issues with the narrative style and writing.)

It's about an elderly woman's friendship with an octopus - who helps her figure out what happened to her son, who went missing decades ago. The book is more focused on the quirky characters than it is on the plot, so as a result the plot is haphazard at best, and depends largely on the stupidity of its characters to move forward. And the characters are remarkably dense.
The octopus has to work overtime to help them figure things out.

I don't know - it's a popular book? I just didn't like it. Although I did finish it - which is more than I can say for the last seven books I've tried to read.

7. Is there anything you know is an extravagance, but you still pay for it regularly because you want to treat yourself?

Sigh. Most likely my television streaming subscription services, and the matcha lattes I get. Also an occasional gluten-free baked good (chocolate chip cookie, donut, muffin...brownie).

8. Can you take a nap and still sleep well that night, or are naps just for when you are unwell?

No. I only take naps when I'm sick or haven't slept the night before, and my body dozes off (so not feeling well). I'm not much of a sleeper. And if I nap, I get groggy and can't sleep at night. Everyone in my family seems to have this problem.

9. When you look outside, what do you see right now?

It's night, so the silhouettes of trees and leaves,reflections of things in the windows (pictures on my walls, easel, chair, stained glass stars hanging from window sills) and a dark sky, also for a while a spotlight. It's the week of 9/11 and they shine spotlights in the sky to remember the twin towers. It looked like the moon - so I wondered if it was, and realized, no a spotlight - the light went to the ground like a spotlight. It's gone now. Saw it last night too.

10. Are there any confectionary bars they don’t make any more that you miss (describe them)?

Okay, not sure what this is? Oh, candy bars.

I don't think there are any that I loved that they don't make any more? Ponders. No. Even saw a Whatmacallit recently. I just can't have them any longer. But that's not because they aren't being made.